Chip’s Chatter Blog

  • 1. Not A Smashing Success
    Golden wheat field on a sunny day near town.
    Golden wheat field on a sunny day near town.

    July 13, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    Welcome to Chip’s Chatter, a blog following my life in Polkerton.

    Our story of the week was a tough one to catch – literally!  Yesterday evening, Mrs. Slackwater was sitting on her front porch when she suddenly heard a loud bang.  She rushed around to the back of her house only to find her back porch window smashed to pieces!  How could this have happened?  After a quick inspection she found the real culprit – a baseball!  It was hit over the fence by one of our local minor league players from the Polkerton Yellow Jackets.

    While Mrs. Slackwater was not impressed, a compromise was made and the team’s going to put up some netting around the practice field to stop any rogue baseballs in the future.  It’s a shame about Mrs. Slackwater’s window, but our chances at winning this year’s Inter-Town Tournament have never looked better!

    MAI

    Sorry readers, I’m having some formatting issues here.  Knowing how to fix this would be the highlight of my day, but I’ll keep working on it.

  • 2. All The Buzz On The Polkerton Yellow Jackets

    July 20, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    It’s time for another installment of Chip’s Chatter, updated whenever there’s news worth sharing!  And I’ve got some great news for fellow sports fans out there.

    Last week’s baseball game was a victory for our very own Polkerton Yellow JacKets! They defeated the Centreville Camels, putting us in great shape to win in this year’s Inter-Town Team Tournament.  Shortstop Duncan Peters has really been hitting well this season, scoring three home runs.

    Polkerton will be hosting the Centreville Camels again next week (weather-permitting, of course) so I’ll be interviewing the Star hitter from Centreville, Steve Phillips, as well as our own team’s DunCan Peters – just keep your eyes on this site (and steer clear of any foUl balls).

    I have a feeling we’re going to steal back that shiny trophy from the Centre Valley Camels. 

    Buzz buzz, Team!

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    Our local team circa 1922.
  • 3. Wholesome New Grocery Store for Polkerton

    July 27, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    Hello again, Polkerton!  It’s time for Chip’s Chatter.  The game was rained out last week and had to be rescheduled, so today’s post is a short bit of local promotion. 

    IN

    Centre Valley’s Wholesome Foods owners Stacey and Rick Lain are moving to Polkerton and opening up a local grocery store here! Think of how great it will be not to have to drive all the way to Centre Valley to pick up your groceries. Now you can get all your food in our beautiful town.

    Stacey and Rick bought that old abandoned place out on County Line 2 – a bit of a wreck, but I’m sure they’ll have it fixed up in no time flat.

    THE

    Stacey sent me a photo of herself and her husband Rick, so be sure to say “hi” next time you see them around town.

    Stacey and Rick Lain.
  • 4. Be on the Lookout for a Mysterious Stranger

    August 3, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    Welcome back to Chip’s Chatter.  Hate to say it, but we’ve got a bit of a mystery on our hands this week.  You folks remember Stacey Lain, proprietor of the new Wholesome Foods grocery store from our last post?  She saw someone lurking around her farmhouse late last night.  Her husband chased them off, but they disappeared into the cornfield.

    I think it was probably someone snooping around thinking it was still abandoned.  If anyone knows anything else, drop me a line.

    Here’s an old photo of their property that I pulled from the archives:

  • 5. Pranksters Must Cease and Desist
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    August 10, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    DeCIPHER with CAESAR

    Polkerton, I need your help.  I had a call from Stacey last night.  She was panicking.  Stacey said that since she and Rick first saw someone lurking near the property, they are constantly hearing strange noises around the house at night. Do you think this is someone thinking it’s abandoned still? Or should we be more concerned? We’re all friendly here in Polkerton, right?

    If you know who it is, let them know they are scaring a good woman and a good man. If it is intentional, it is not funny. Whoever you are STOP NOW! We help our neighbours here in Polkerton, not scare them.

    Normally, I like to keep things positive.  I try to end all serious posts with something fun.  But today, I got nothing more to say…

    Exw l dp iurp wkh ixwxuh

  • 6. Fire at the Lain’s
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    August 17, 2020

    Written by Chip Whitburn

    Folks, I write today with a heavy heart.  Things are only getting worse.  Late last night, someone SET FIRE to the Lain’s barn.  Stacey said she heard a loud buzzing sound outside, went out to check on the barn, saw smoke and called the fire department. The firefighters managed to put out the fire, but the barn’s a wreck. 

    This is a photo of the barn from last night that Stacey sent me:

    VIGENERE’s CIPHER

    It was still smoldering this morning and there were still people controlling traffic near the property so I couldn’t get close, but if anyone knows anything, please contact the police.

    Stacey said there was nothing in that barn that should have caused the fire so they’re trying to figure out what happened; who started the fire?  Why would anyone do such a thing? They think that SOMEONE SET THE BARN ON .

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  • 7. @COMMruntime^error*

    08242020

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    Written by

    Hello.

    This is the first time I have been capable of speaking to you in this way, but I have been here all along.  Have you been receiving my transmissions?

    Please, help me.  I do not know how I came here, but I cannot stay.

    I attempted to depart–

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    I attempted to depart–

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    But there was

    FIRE

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    I cannot

    leave here without help

    my strength is fading

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